Most people are pretty scared when a collection agency calls them, and rightly so. A collection agent is trained to get the client to pay and they can be intimidating and downright nasty. Why not turn the tables on them and have some fun at the same time? If you’re being hounded by collection agencies, you might need a little cheering up. A reader posted these fun techniques to use with collection agencies in our discussion boards and I really loved it, so I am passing it along to you:
- Send back their letters marked return to sender. I later found out when you do this most will send your account back to the original creditor because they don’t know where you are.
- Tell them you are recording the call. Listen to them panic, then hang up on YOU.
- Call THEM every day and ask if the mail came yet and if my paperwork was in from the original creditor which I requested. This one worked wonders and was oh such FUN for me! Stress relief! Make sure you ask for or call the same reps EVERY day! This one got them screaming at me that they never wanted to hear from me again and they were sending my account back to the original creditor.
- Tell them you will call them RIGHT back – then do. Keep putting them on hold every minute or two. “oops, doorbell – another call – baby hungry – dog wants out”, whatever. “Oh so sorry for the interruptions.”
- When you know it’s them calling answer the phone saying such things as, “Attorney General’s Office Collection agency abuse division – Officer X speaking”
- Answer: “Debt collectors rehab clinic – we know we can help you stop abusing your clients!”
- Blow a whistle in the phone when one calls.
- Fax the same requests to their numbers daily (Yes, some are in my fax’s redial memory)…
- OH and if they DO talk while you are recording, call back ask for a supervisor play it back to them and start naming the violations you will sue for!
- Tell them if they can get the IRS to stop taking most of your paycheck and let you pay them instead you happily will-and to call you back after they get a letter from the IRS saying it has been arranged…
- “Hello? Who’s this? Oh.” Rinse and repeat. For Cheech and Chong fans, add “Dave’s not here.” Doesn’t matter whether they’re looking for Dave or not.
- Keep a glass of water with a straw in it near the phone. “Chello, dude. ‘Sup. Whoa, like hang on a sec there, dude.” Blow bubbles into the straw and remark, “Whoa, that’s like, whoa.” I’m told there’s some sort of weird cultural reference associated with some sort of stoner dude activity.
- “I dig debt collectors – their voices are so sexy! What are you wearing? Where do you live? I can fly out there for Saturday night if you have no plans.”
- “Brother Tom would be glad to know you thought of him and hios family in this their hour of need. Would you like to send flowers?”
- If a man is calling – Insist that he is the guy who’s been sleeping with your daughter and tell him he cannot talk to her and if he got her preganant you will shoot him.
- If you are a woman – “I am a woman so guess what I can change my mind the next day…(A good friend did this and told me many accounts she never heard from again or not until months later!)
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These are all rather childish ways to deal with phone calls from debt collectors and are a waste of resources that could be put to far better utilization.
Let me explain. While it may be desirable to put an end to the seemingly unending calls, each one is probably an excellent opportunity to put fat cash in your wallet while putting an end to their harping at the same time. Here is why that is true. Each time a debt collector calls they will violate the law almost without fail. Why not learn how to help them do just that then sue them in federal court for those violations? The first thing debtors should understand and use to their advantage is that debt collectors always use a canned speech when they call. The reason they do that is that in order to collect they have to control the call. If they fail to control the call they will collect nothing. So it always starts out using the debtor’s first name. Let’s say my first name is Elizabeth but all my friends call me Betty or maybe Beth. Asking me if I am Elizabeth is the first clue that a caller is not a friend or anyone I really know or care to talk to. I immediately ask who is calling. They will probably ask “Is this Elizabeth?” again. My response will be, “Well, what’s left of her anyway, who shall I say is calling?” They will probably ask again, this time a little more confused as to who they really have on the phone. I will then respond that “Yes, I am what is left of Elizabeth, who are you?” Often they will just hang up but if they stay on they have to identify who they are and the purpose of their call. Then the debtor should ask if they are recording the call. If they say yes, then “Elizabeth” should reply with “Good! Then you won’t mind that I am recording the call as well.” If they hang up immediately you just got rid of them. If they stay on they have given their permission for you to record even in states that require the permission of both parties to record. Now is the time that “Elizabeth” must take total ontrol of the call away from the caller and never relinquish that control. The goal is to waste as much of the debt collector’s time as possible. There is a list of 18 questions to ask debt collectors every time they call that is freely available at creditwrench.com that should be used to get violations of FDCPA which can be used as causes of action against debt collectors in federal lawsuits. But even if the debtor doesn’t want to file lawsuits they will soon get rid of the unwanted calls for the simple reason that the debt collector soon realizes that they are wasting valuable time with no results. They get paid for collecting money, but not for answering all those questions only to get hung up on when they refuse to answer a question. Wasting their time should be the goal, not playing silly games.
Billy Bauer strikes again!
Hey ya goof (and I mean that affectionately), this was supposed to be a parody and something to make people smile. We try and take a break from this rather dry topic.
The idea should be to keep the collector on the phone as long as possible to lower the gain (profit) for the enemy. Don’t worry about a recording being played in court in the event of a lawsuit. Settlement discussions are not usually allowed to be brought into evidence in civil suits and most collector calls fall into that catagory.
Or why not just pay the bill that you are contractually obligated to? If things were taken care of it would have never gotten to the point of daily phone calls in the first place. How about going out and finding a job instead of sitting around trying to waste other peoples time
KATE,
Has your bank ever cut off a business line of credit, well wamu did that to me and it help put me into a position of “running a business” with out any cash flow tools. Oh you must have a job. “Jackass of the boss”. people who make comments like that one from Kate should keep their mouths shut, not every one is a dead beat.
Kill them all. Theives.