The game with creditors and collectors used to stress me out

[NoMoneyNoHoney]

These guys are all idiots. They have no negotiation skills and have no skills of keeping communications open with the debtor. There tactics can be used on the weak, but they cannot work on a person who is strong minded. They should be brainstorming with the debtor, instead they use tactics like fear of loss, sense of urgency, threaten lawsuits, test your manhood , guilt trips, etc.. What a joke. I want to tell everyone hear, that is going stressing out and just losing it, to first relax. Get informed, know your rights, understand your creditors motivation, and most of all use your comman sense. Stop listening to all the threats of this and of that. Most of the time, if someone wants to do something to you, they would do it. But they tell you what their going to do. Why? To get you to be in the state of fear and confusion. This way, they can keep you in line. This tactic is called Fear of Loss. Which means if I dont do something , then I will lose something. Bull , we need to remember something, you will still survive if their was no creditors or cc 's. But they wont survive if we weren't around. So who has the power. This something you should remember if they try to guilt you or make you feel immorally wrong if you dont pay. I tell them don't blame me, I wasn't the one who create and out for me to start all over again. An OUT, why did the Govt allow people to fill bankrupsy against their creditors and said you dont have to pay them back. Because the Govt knew how powerful these institutions can become. Its a racket. I dont feel no guilt for what I'm doing. They should have done a through background check on me before they went ahead and gave me a cc, at X-Mas time, what a set using my emotions and the holiday season to trap me.

You can alway repair you credit, and you can alway find someone to lend you money. So what if someone turns you down. Do you know how many others are not going , because thats how they make a living. There not the only fish in the sea. And so you need to pay a higher amount on your mortgage, in a few years after you show payments always on time. Just refinance it, it not a death sentence though some would like to make you believe that bad credit is exactly that. Anyways, I would like to hear comments or suggestions on my way of negotiating with creditors. I thinking, this is my life, you want something from me, so let me see how bad you want it.

The key to beating the creditor or collector at their game, is to flip the script on them and act as it you really dont care, but you'd thought what the hell I try and show an effort in giving them back something. They refuse, then you use what they use on you, Fear Of LOSS technique. EX, well OK , I just thought I ask and see if maybe we could come to a settlement of about 25% , before I finish my bankruptsy planning. Hey, its all good if you dont wnat to accept it , Im sure one of my creditors will. In fact I am going to give them a call right after this. NO one controls my life but me. CC are not important, whats important in life is that you do what you need to be happy. I feel they dont want you to be happy, well then you say at I know I tried.

I told Beneficial that I only have $1200 to settle a $6700 I oue them. They snapped and said why am I joking. No way. I said well, I wanted to give you first crack at this money, its not all but its something. Oh well, at least I tried buy you said no. They said its to little. I then said thats all I got. So you can either take it or Im going to offer this to someone else who knows how to subract. Goodbye.

Bascally , guys I'm the one calling the shots here, why ? Cause its my life and I will determine how I live and no one even creditors can stop me from living. So does anyone think that I will get these two low amounts that I am trying to settle. Let me know why. Please no moral issues, responsibilities , or other types of emotional trips someonc can lay on you allowed, I am not getting into a pissing match.

Also I must talk about some of the people and their letters, they suppose to give. Some letter show you as being a fag. Hey dont be fags be standup guy and get what you want.

[mrsmo914]

Well, we are all certainly happy that you feel empowered! I would caution you, however, that this board is made up of all kinds of people-and I would not dis the letters we have successfully been using, though your opinion may be valid for you you.

I also HATE jumping on the Politically Correct Bandwagon, because most of the time they are ridiculous, but derrogatory comments like "fag" only flame hostilities where there don't need to be any. Since we are not politically,sexually,or religiously oriented-it is kinda inappropriate to use those kind of slurrs. I don't know how many homosexuals read this board anymore than I know how many different ethnicities read this board because it really doesn't matter, so I would think that we need to respect each other. My two cents anyway.

Keep up the good work of not being intimidated. Your posts may really help someone who is, so please don't single yourself out by using inappropriate comments.

[NoMoneyNoHoney]

My Bad , I apologize for my lack of intelligence. I got caught up with all the BS that I am going through with these people. I also feel for alot of people who may not have the knowledge or strength that I do seem to have. I would like to tell though that just one month ago I was really shitting bricks cause of this. But I remember what someone once told me, "you overcome fear through information and knowledge.'" I trying to share the little I know about this , hopefully I can help eliminate someone elses fear.

[Stressin']

Hey NoMoney!! Can you give me some of that empowerment?!! Your post gives me hope. As much as I try not to be, I'm the one the creditors/"attys" prey on . Unfortunately, their intimdation tactics get the best of me. How I wish I could have your strength and knowledge to get these so-called attys off my back because I'm not paying them the large sums of money they want. You wanna make a couple of phone calls for me?? haha. jk. Keep up the good work giving everyone encouragement. I know at least one person who could always use some!!

[Xanathos]

Hey NoMoney!! Can you give me some of that empowerment?!! Your post gives me hope. As much as I try not to be' date=' I'm the one the creditors/"attys" prey on . Unfortunately, their intimdation tactics get the best of me. How I wish I could have your strength and knowledge to get these so-called attys off my back because I'm not paying them the large sums of money they want. You wanna make a couple of phone calls for me?? haha. jk. Keep up the good work giving everyone encouragement. I know at least one person who could always use some!! [/quote']

You mentioned the word phone calls. I also noticed you're our newest member.

Welcome to the board, hope you enjoy your stay . However(scolding time)....

RULE 1: NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER....NEVER...talk to any of these morons on the telephone(just in case I wasn't clear...NEVER). No good can come of it, only counterproductivity. If they call, get their address, inform them you won't communicate via phone, and hang up. Yes, hang up. They treat you like dirt, so don't worry about showing them manners, either. And I would recommend taking a hiatus from talking to them on any level while you educate yourself here.

The rest you'll learn as you go along. Best way to go about it is to start at the Credit Repair board, read every post(yes, I said every post....all 38 pages and almost 2000 topics of them, complete with over 8000 comments to the posts--don't worry, lot of duplicates, you'll learn to spot them as you go). Then hit Collections, Bureaus, Lawyer board, debt validation...work your way down the list. Thousands upon thousands of posts to read...hell, it took me over over a week at over 8 hours a day reading them all to get through them when I first showed up, and I STILL spent the next few weeks doing nothing but asking questions--all without taking a single action of credit repair in real life...and there were 6 months fewer posts here back then. It was over a month before I mailed my first letter.

Time consuming? Absolutely. Tedious? Bank on it. Worth the time and effort? Beyond all shadow of a doubt.

Just remember, you're in no rush. It took you time to mess up your credit, it'll take time to fix it...waiting a few weeks while you educate yourself is a small price to pay.

Steps man, steps...learn to walk before you run. If you aren't clear on something, ask...we're here to answer the questions, and 99% of us have been where you are right now at one point. This joint is a veritable one stop shopping megamart for credit repair. Tools are all here. Learn them, use them, love them.

[mrsmo914]

yeah, what he said...

Reading the posts is your best bet, and pay special attention to the ones that have alot of posts under their belt because they have been there and back.

[Stressin']

Xanthos & Mrsmo - Thanks for the advice and the welcome. This is a great and very useful board. I've started to read as much as I can and I'm already learning a lot so far. But there's still so much more to go.

So this jerk/"atty" had me call him multiple times to let him know if I could get more money. I would always tell him I couldn't get it, and he'd always turn around and say call me on such and such date to see if you can get it. Even told me to borrow someone else's cc to pay off my debt... hello.. isn't that how I got in this mess to begin with??

Whatever the case, reading these posts does give me inspiration! I hope I can avoid "further action" as this "atty" is claiming. I posted "Settlement Question" if you want to know where I'm coming from.

Have an awesome weekend all.

[NoMoneyNoHoney]

Hey just remember, you have the power here. You have something they want, your money. What these people are doing is they are playing with your emotions. And its done to get you into a fear mode. Why does it work on you, because you were not aware that you have the power. And also because these tactics are very effective on the majority of people, so you constantly hear all the rumors of , this can happen, or that can happen and now you start to question your position of power.

All you need to do is use your comman sense. Stay in control of your emotions. Stand firm to your beliefs. And never forget that life is a Game and that every aspect of it is a Game within a Game. Meaning, everything is done for a ultimate purpose or result. What makes you a better competitor and promotes your confidence in any situation, is to educate yourself on the Game from both sides. Your position, and your opponents position. Know where the boundries are, know your opponents weaknesses and strengths, get backup to help win the Game. Do what ever is needed to fully understand the whole complexity of what is going on. Not only what is going on with you. No , know the whole game. At this forum, you get weapons in the form of information and experiences which you can use to your advantage. I hope you can follow this analogy. But, the bottom line is if you knew what the attorneys possible next tactic or step he was going to use against you, you could then prepare for it and it would not stress you out, right. Ok, that what I mean about knowing the whole aspect of what is going on , from all phases. Put yourself in the attorneys shoes, how and what would you do to yourself that would get you to be fearful which will keep you in line. You see if you can get to know and play this Game from both sides , then you will no longer be affected by fear tactics or lose control, or worry so much. Its like now your the Game Master. The key now is not to let your opponent know that you know. Play dumb and string them on. Let them think that they are in control, but in reality, your the one in control. Then when the time is right and you see an opening, you take over the Game and flip the script on their asses.

Take some time to understand and adjust to things outside of yourself and the me me me mentality, and you will see that learning about other things will give you confidence. Why, because you are now aware, enlightened, and not just self centered. Thats how you get confidence, when experience is lacking. Their is only one thing in life that we have absolute control over, and that is the way we think.