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In way over my head


user33658
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Since purchasing a new home in January of this year, I have managed to accumulated more than 16K in credit card debt.

I've never been late on a credit card payment and always pay more than the minimum payment (even if its only $10 more), but lately I feel like things are about to cave in.

My husband doesnt even know how much debt I've accumulated and I'm scared to tell him. I'm so depressed.

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Probably from decorating and furunishing the new home to get it just the way you want it. It can catch up with you before you know it! Why do you feel like it is about to cave in? I'm sure there is a solution to your problem. Are you working?

Yep...thats part of it and a little gambling problem that I'm finally getting help for.

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Good for you in getting help. The best piece of advice I can offer is to make sure you at least make the min payments each month. If I did that when I was $19, even though the interest would have accumulated, I wouldn't be dealing with what I am now with the CAs, etc.

Have you called the OCs and see if they have a hardship program?

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If you call your oldest accounts, the ones you have the longest and best record with, they will sometimes lower your interest rate and/or waive your annual fee as a goodwill gesture. Every dollar helps.

You didn't say what kind of gambling problem you are struggling with. Is it online poker etc.? If so, it might be possible to contact those sites, say that your teenager got ahold of your cards, and ask them to put a block on your IP address so you can no longer gamble there. Does anyone know if this would cause any trouble for the OP with her card companies?

Please don't be depressed. It's only money. Most of us here have been through major debt problems, collections and bankruptcy (I myself had racked up over $60,000 for various reasons) and we can tell you that while it can screw up your life for a while, it won't kill you.

Things in your favor: 1) You have a husband, so you're unlikely to starve or be left homeless if you fall behind in your payments. 2) You're not behind in your payments!! 3) $16,000 is not a crazy amount of money. And if you have good credit, you might be able to get a good consolidation loan, pay off most or all of your cards, and then streamline your card portfolio with our guidance. :) 4) You're aware of your problems and are making an effort to solve them. Good for you!!! 5) You have us now. :wink:

How did you go through the mortgage process without your husband seeing your credit report? Or has most of this debt been accumulated since then?

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I remember what it was like for me when I was over 60 grand in the hole and I was all alone. No husband, no one. Everyone treated me as if I deserved whatever I got, even though most of that debt was not "shopping" debt (that tired old myth). I had no support at all. I wish I'd had this board back then.

Even though the circumstances and amounts are very different, I remember being at the point the OP is at now--I had a lot of debt and I had never paid any of it late, but my outgoing was slowly overtaking my income, and I knew very soon I was not going to be able to pay my bills.

I tried credit counseling and that made matters worse. I started piling on my first-ever lates because of their incomptence. So before it got worse, I filed for bankruptcy. That is not an option for the OP if she wants to keep her hubby out of this mess. But I definitely think we can help her. :)

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How did you go through the mortgage process without your husband seeing your credit report? Or has most of this debt been accumulated since then?

Unfortunately, my husband is not on the mortgage; his credit would have damaged my chances of getting a good interest rate. I got a 30 year fixed at 5.85 and I had around 4K in credit card debt when I got my house.

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