BK support group?

[eyeball]

I don't know how other people feel, but finally having to decide on this is awfull. It is almost like there needs to be a support group to help us out. I do notice that once the Bk is filed or almost filed the stress level goes down. i went from making MONEY TO now a BK. It doens't feel very good it is depressing, things I learned:

1. Debt collectors to not want to settle for small amounts on the bills you owe, thewy won't work with the income you have, the want big payments.

2. They don't follow the Federal laws on debt collections.

3. Attorneys file law suits against you like rain, it never stops.

4. Even if you try to settle they make it impossable.

5. Bk seems to be the only option today.

6. Debt collectors complain about Bk,yet they themselves force you into it.

7. Their are many good people who would like to pay their debts after financial crisis, but the SYSTEM makes it impossable.

8. Why am I still getting credit offers in the mail?

9. The credit fcard companies are responsable for this situaton today.

10. NEVER FORGET THE BANKRUPTCY LAWS WERE PUT INTO PLACE TO PROTECT US FROM THESE CHARACTERS USE IT IF YOU MUST

[willingtocope]

You've got a BK support group right here. Many of us...me included...have gone through the whole process. We lost our company in 2000, but it took us 4 years to realize that. After we'd gone through all our savings, and 401k, and everything, we finally filed BK 7 in March 2004. With no income, we lost the house in August 2005. Moved in with our son's family. Looked for work. Finally found a job in May 2006. We went through 5 years of deep depression...trying not to blame each other.

Now, after working at a job I can tolerate for a year, we're beginning to feel human again. But, other than a car payment, we have NO debt. That at least feels good.

Really...if you need a shoulder to cry on...got questions...whatever...we'll all help if we can.

[eyeball]

wow thanks

I too have gone through my IRA and all my savings, my business went down hill, in the last three years. I had to close it. It helps when you are not the only one, I thank you for all your help the depression is brutal at times, I have been on anti depressents the last 3 month's I am trying to get off. It helps to talk about it.

Eye

[willingtocope]

Any time.

Really...any questions, please ask. LadyNRed is the resident BK expert, and she'll chime in when needed. But there's lots of us here that basically had to start over. It does get better...

[bingo]

I just don't understand this depression thing over filing bk.

BK is nothing more than a business decision. Are you better off filing and starting over or, wold you prefer to sit there for decades getting hammered with lawsuits and collection agencies?

Transfer that depression to your creditors and move on.

As Willingtocope said, it gets better and sometimes in a hurry. A few days after my discharge, I got a better paying job and haven't looked back.

[Macwench]

My BK was the smartest thing (financially)I've done in years. I knew we had to do it, but after years of trying to work with creditors for a reasonable payment it just wouldn't go. I couldn't pay 10 people $100 a month and still buy hubby's meds (they ran about $400/month).

I understand the depression - I felt like a total failure - even though in my head I knew it was the right thing to do. But starting over with a fresh slate was such a relief. I learned to be more careful (our BK was very related to DH's unexpected illness) and to plan for that rainy day.

Hang in there and like others have said, just ask if you have any questions. This bunch here is a great support group and we're more than willing to answer what we can.

Take care and don't beat yourself up over this.

[eyeball]

Thank you all for your encourgement, I am 56 and starting over, got completely wiped out. Lucky for me I have a profession to fall back on, and can usually get work. BUT I feel better now kick myself sometimes for making some mistakes , but I see lots of people have. MY BK attorney is working on this and I should file wihin 10 days. Should have done it 2 years ago, but know I am looking forward to building my srlf back up..Thank's everyone .

[direred]

If you feel the need for a face-to-face group, Debtors Anonymous is your best bet.

[LadynRed]

Middle-aged and older people are the fastest growing group of BK filers today. We're more likely to have health problems that hit us hard, we're more likely to be laid off from a job (age discrimination all the way !!), because of our age we might have a much harder time finding another job and rarely do we find one that pays what we're used to - especially professionals with lots and lots of experience. Senior citizens are more likely to have huge medical costs and be stuck on low fixed incomes - and this age group is also more likely to feel depression over filing - you've come thru years of a career, raised families, maybe had a business (or two or more) and everything gets turned to crap in a heartbeat.

Yes, I too have been there -- finally filed in 2005 and I SHOULD have filed 3-4 years earlier, but I kept thinking 'things will get better, I'll get out of this' - didn't happen - it was a never-ending spiral - downward.

I did feel a lot of stress during the BK process, but I can't say that I was depressed. It was a HUGE relief to actually file and an even bigger relief to have that discharge letter in my hands. I am totally debt-free, which, as WTC says, feels good. I need to save money for retirement - -not be paying scum-sucking debt collectors and credit card issuers !!

You'll get thru it, the decision to file is harder than anyone who's never faced it can imagine. Once it's done and you're on the other side, things WILL be better - you can even go to the mailbox and not dread it

[gypsie]

Wow eyeball, you've hit the nail on the head..... I remember having all those feelings myself and the turmoil of emotion...

I too had to file BK due to the failure of my business, a business- I had no business owning while working a different fulltime job. I was young, single and stupid, I'm glad it's all over.

here's a support group hug

[eyeball]

Went to the BK attorney today and took him the paperwork. I hope to file soon stay tuned!

[virtualrn]

BK sucks. However, it can be depressing or liberating dependent on on how you look at it. I went through a chap 7 which also marked the end of a 21 year marriage. The Ex engineer refused to work and to this day, has never supported his kids. Now works at a gas station. My income didn't cut it and I filed chap 13 to stave off foreclosure. Did ok with the sale of my home because property was hot 3 years ok and everybody qualified for loans. Payed off my bills, bought a reliable used car, and am helping to put my two kids through college. Even qualified for some "bad" credit cards which get payed monthly. Now working on credit repair but good luck with 2 BKs!. I agree with lady in red. More and more people are getting into financial distress these days. I don't think it is necessarily just baby boomers either. I think what appalls me most is that a criminal can have his record expunged in 2 years but BKer's are stuck with their mistake for a decade.

[eyeball]

By the way thanks for the hug Gypsy! I agree you go BK and it scars you for 10 years, like you are a criminal! All this is because the credit card companies what to make everyone think that you are a bad person for filing .The Fico scores, your fico scores is your worth on this earth. yet watch Tv charge charge charge,it makes no sense. We are controlled by this

credit manipulation.

Eye

[eyeball]

Thanks everyone so much for there support its happening on Friday. I just found everything so difficult the emotional part of it. Because I think once the decsion is made you feel better. I don't think I could have gotten through this without this board. I also hope to "give somethig back" when its all over. I know I am not home free yet I need to go through the BK process and get discharged but there is a "dot at the end of the sentence" Like Lady in REd I should have done this 3 years ago, I was a BK case then. But allways thought things would get better. Ego only Ego. Its kind of like a divorce in a a way..you get through it but there is life after it

Eyeball

[virtualrn]

Eyeball, the worst will be behind you. I 've wasted alot of time trying to pinpoint my basic charater flaws that led to my monetary demise and have come to the conclusion that my life took a spin out of control. The stress of having creditors off your back will be an enormous relief. Negative feedback will come from less than honorable people. You owe no explanations. When you start to hyperventilate, take a deep breath. With this new road, you may look around and start overhauling everything that is weighing down your life. Pursue happiness. Excercise, laugh, and love!