daughters left usa, no assets: whats a mother to do?

[jstupid]

this may be in wrong forum, since repair is not sought, but,

daughters 30 and 21 have left usa, they are both single and unemployed, they have been using ccs to the max when their business scheme failed,

they had been living with me, free, I am not cosigner on any of their debt,

debt only cc, unsecured, about 30K each, 5-6cc each

they do not have any assets, no home, no car, not even drivers licenses, they intend to remain out of U.S. as they have found lovers etc,

up thru Dec. 07 their accts have been paid albeit minimums,

but starting this month they cannot pay anything,

1. should they send letters to ccs closing accts?

2. how should they change their addresses as they do not know where they will be?

3. they do not have funds or ability to appear for BK

4. as the accounts go to collection, any advice?

5. I have offered to help, but since I am only a mother have limited power,

6. these are very hard working women who because of some very bad circumstances are now in financial trouble, they realize they are screwed and accept they will be so for years because of this default, but honestly have no other choices, jobs will never pay enough for them to repay the debt, they have just walked away in shame

thank you

[jetscarbie]

If it was your address your daughters gave on the cc, you are gonna get a slew of calls and letters. The collectors won't care that the girls are out of the country. They will harass you.

Your daughters should close their accounts if the cc haven't already closed them.

Your daughters need to talk to the cc BEFORE the accounts go to collections. Some will even work out a hardship type payment for them.

Your daughters could change their address but I don't think it will do any good.

Search on this site for DV letters. Your daughters are gonna need them.

[Robert Nashville/Savannah]

I have three; I mean four words of advice…STAY OUT OF IT!

Resist the temptation to get involved and/or to try and “help” your daughters with this mess - your little girls are adults and they need to handle this. Your involvement will very likely not help their situation anyway and very likely create a nightmare for you - you can support them emotionally; offer advice if they ask for it but if you value your sanity and your future relationships with you daughters; don’t get involved otherwise.

I hope and pray that these creditors don’t have your phone number as a contact number for either of them – if they do I strongly suggest you change it immediately and make it unlisted. Even if they don’t have your phone number, I’d at least make your current phone number unlisted (if it isn’t) and I’d still strongly consider changing it.

If you are unwilling to do that, at least get caller ID and/or voice mail/answering machine and screen calls – do not talk to any collector (an OC or a CA) on the phone. If you do happen to talk to one, tell them your daughter(s) do not live here and to never call you again and hang up.

DO NOT TALK TO THEIR CREDITORS/COLLECTORS ON THE PHONE!

DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN YOUR DAUGHTERS' FINANCIAL AFFAIRS!

I hope I’m not being unclear.

[Recovering Attorney]

If you get mail at your house for them, Write in big block letters, just like in the Elvis song: RETURN TO SENDER, ADDRESSEE UNKNOWN, and put it back in the mailbox

[jasen]

Well, I guess the only good news is, if they're living in another country, their US credit reports won't matter too much. They can start over again in the new country. But if they plan on coming back within the next 7 years (or more if these creditors land judgments on them), they might have a difficult time.

[Flyingifr]

"My daughter is in Uganda. Go find her there."

"No, I do not have her telephone number. I believe she's in London. Here's the number for Scotland Yard... 020 7230 1212"

The last I heard, she was somewhere between McMurdo Station and Amundsen-Scott Station. I'll send her a message on the next dog sled."

C'mon, mom - this could be a lot of fun if you approach it right. You could give the collectors clues from your copy of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?"

[VeVe]

What countries did they move to and how long ago?

I mean, unless they've already gained citizenship in another country, this is going to remain a problem for them.

Most countries won't allow a non-citizen to open a bank account, or conduct any major financial transaction, without references from US creditors. Employment will be difficult. I am a citizen of a country in Europe (dual citizen with US) and even I have trouble doing these things sometimes.

If they don't address this now, they will never, ever be able to live in the United States again since if they do come back, they will probably have a ton of judgments against them, will have trouble opening bank accounts, getting a job, etc. They're basically throwing their lives away. And, you will likely not see them again, unless you go to wherever they are. Once those US passports expire, they aren't getting back in this country.

I know several people that fled to another country "for love." Guess what? They've all come back.

[Flyingifr]

OK< so where do the inaccuracies end and the accuracies start?

What countries did they move to and how long ago?

I mean, unless they've already gained citizenship in another country, this is going to remain a problem for them.

Not so. Citizenship has absolutely nothing to do with it. Non US Citizens can be sued in US Courts and US citizens can be sued in foreign Courts. Depends on where the cause of Action accrues.

Most countries won't allow a non-citizen to open a bank account, or conduct any major financial transaction, without references from US creditors. Employment will be difficult. I am a citizen of a country in Europe (dual citizen with US) and even I have trouble doing these things sometimes.

Depends on the country, and the purpose for the banking relationship. Of course, many foreign banks have US offices, so opening an account in their US office gives you an account in their home country and, in fact, worldwide. Nevertheless, the daughter could function just as well with a simple Paypal Account and a US bank account. Paypal issues a debit card which is accepted just like any debit card, and she can park the majority of her funds in her paypal account, secure in the knowledge that it is very unlikely to be seen by her US creditors - not that it would do them any good, because they would need a Judgment against her to do that - something that is unlikely if she cannot be found to be served.

If they don't address this now, they will never, ever be able to live in the United States again since if they do come back, they will probably have a ton of judgments against them, will have trouble opening bank accounts, getting a job, etc. They're basically throwing their lives away. And, you will likely not see them again, unless you go to wherever they are. Once those US passports expire, they aren't getting back in this country.

Wow.... where do I start?

They can't get a Judgment without serving her. Can't find her, can't serve her. Now, the SOL for the debt is suspended (tolled) for the time she is out of the State (or country), but after a couple of years the creditor, or even the JDB, will have forgotten all about the debt.

Meanwhile the 7 year FCRA SOL is NOT tolled, so the stuff will go on her credit report, then off. If she is out of the country (or even gets back in and stays under the radar), in 7 years she won't have bad credit - she will have NO credit. How does she explain that? Simple - out of the country for that period.

As far as her passport is concerned, she can get it renewed at any US Embassy or Consulate while out of the country, and her credit record has absolutely nothing to do with that action. All she needs is US citizenship, 2 photos and the fee.

[VeVe]

I'm not going to argue your points, rather I'll just point out the major overall problem with your posts:

If they have a US address/residece, they can be served. If they don't have a US address/residence, they can't renew a US passport.

Either way, they're absolutely screwed and have little to no chance to returning to the US without this basically taking over their lives.

[retmar]

I agree fully and completely with Robert. Stay out of it!

When the calls and letters begin, return letters, unopened, with the comment "Not Here" on them. Nothing else.

On the phone calls, simply say they do not live there and to please do not call again. They cannot call anymore. Yes, some may try, so, for a time, note each call, including date, CA name, time, name of rep, and what you said, and, what they said. This way, if they do, you can generate a letter reminding if they continue, you will take action.

Regarding your daughters, probably their best approach is to contact each creditor, by mail, sent CMRR, or available way giving a receipt and proof of delivery for protection. I would only supply a PO Box, if possible. Explain circumstances and their willingness to resolve amicably, but, due to this, they can only remit "X" amount on a monthly, bi-monthly, whatever roation, until paid in full. Have them include the verbiage that if they assigned to a CA, or sold account, it would not change anything. Do realize this may not mean a thing to the creditor, and will be totally ignored, but, do it anyway. Purpose is that it adds to their creditbility, if necessary. And, do realize beyond any and all doubt, the CC will continue to add late and overlimit fees until charge off. Yes, they can legally do this, even if an agreement is made, unless it is written in their side of the agreement and signed with an authorized signature. If assigned, or sold, they may also add allowable fees and interest.

As others noted, the TL will be reported for the allowed period of time. Do not dwell on this part now. They need to get it under control first, then, down the road, work on the negative info.