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Crunch Time...


WickeDay
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Okay so I am sure some of you will never forget some of the posts of a few weeks ago, about my roommate. Well, the end of the month is coming, and I need to have the conversation/take action.

For those who don't know, basically it's my place, it isn't working out, I need to tell her to leave.

I really get that nervous stomach thing when she's home now cause I know she might bring up the fact that she obviously wants to stay.

I need some advice and also-I have researched on the net and haven't really found some answers and think some of you folks might no.

First off-The legal stuff. Her lease is up Feb. 29th. I'm planning on sending a 30-day notice certified. Is there anything else I should know?

Second-I was thinking of doing something like, "So, Tuesday is the 29th, and neither one of us obviously has approached the other about signing a new lease, but I thought it would be ackward for you to just get a 30-day without me saying 'hey, it's in the mail'."

I know she's going to argue and whatnot, but my plan is to say, "Well, it's the conversation no one wants to have and it's just not a good fit, and I think it's best that it's now as opposed to six weeks from now or two months from now and I think once you get out there you're going to find something great that's more suited for you."

Just typing it makes me nervous. ::spew::

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I had the same situation except with girlfriends... None of them wanted to move out even though the relationship was over...

One girl, she was so immature (she was 19 at the time which explained it), I would be like one inch away from her nose screaming at the top of my lungs... I told her that you are turning me into a totally different person that I don't even recognize anymore and I don't want to be that person anymore... But she would never move out...

One day, I got a buddy of mine to help me out... I was at my parents place and I called over to my apartment and told her to get out by sun down or my buddy and I were going to physically throw her out... When I got there, she was gone and so was her stuff...

Another girlfriend, right before the lease was going to expire, she went out of town for the night (her brother was a high school football player who was playing really far out of town and she was going to spend the night at her parent's place when she got back)... That day, I got two buddies of mine to help move all of my stuff to my new apartment that was somewhere else...

Of course she was devastated but every time I tried to move out, there was always some disaster going on... One time I had to take her to emergency room, another time she was getting laid off, etc... Finally, I said that nobody's life is perfect so there is no perfect time for me to do this so I am moving out now...

I once had a roommate who was a Satan worshipper... All of her friends were such losers and druggies (nearly all of them had once been in alternative schools because they got kicked out of their schools)... She would sign her signature in blood on letters to one of her ex-boyfriends (she would use a razor to slit her skin)... I really thought that someday I was going to end up in several mason jars inside my refrigerator...

I have known so many people who have been trapped in relationships or with roommates that they couldn't get out of... I know the exact feeling of the knots in your stomach and the huge emotional roller coaster...

It sucks but it has to be done...

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And one other thing... Don't ever blame yourself... I had all the guilt trips laid on me and all the excuses...

It takes enormous strength to do this because you are not dealing with a rational human being... You are dealing with someone who is irrational...

One ex-girlfriend I had, we could never get really serious because of her roommate. The roommate had no car and a two year old girl... All of our dates had to be based on the roommate's schedule because the roommate needed to borrow the car to go to work and someone (which was always the girl I was dating) had to watch over the kid...

She was someone who could never get out of being her roommate because she was so afraid of getting into those big ugly arguments with her... And they even moved to several different places to live at over the years... At the end when I said that this wasn't working out, she was sobbing as she explained that this happens with every guy she wants to get serious with... She was miserable with her roommate but she was just too afraid to get out it with her...

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Is she paying her way? if shes not that may be a good way to start...is she a slob, that may be a good way to bring it up too...

Either way you have to tell her before she gets the notice...I know you don't want to but you'll have to...ask her if she thinks its working out, then tell her she's driving you crazy and maybe things would be better if you were to live alone...

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No easy way to do a confrontation Wicked.....Legally, the thirty day, your lease is not renewable is the only way to do it....don't get personal about it, just state it is not a good fit. When she gets personal, you can point out that this is exactly why it is not a good fit. Good luck:)++

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I had the same situation except with girlfriends... None of them wanted to move out even though the relationship was over...

One girl, she was so immature (she was 19 at the time which explained it), I would be like one inch away from her nose screaming at the top of my lungs... I told her that you are turning me into a totally different person that I don't even recognize anymore and I don't want to be that person anymore... But she would never move out...

One day, I got a buddy of mine to help me out... I was at my parents place and I called over to my apartment and told her to get out by sun down or my buddy and I were going to physically throw her out... When I got there, she was gone and so was her stuff...

Another girlfriend, right before the lease was going to expire, she went out of town for the night (her brother was a high school football player who was playing really far out of town and she was going to spend the night at her parent's place when she got back)... That day, I got two buddies of mine to help move all of my stuff to my new apartment that was somewhere else...

Of course she was devastated but every time I tried to move out, there was always some disaster going on... One time I had to take her to emergency room, another time she was getting laid off, etc... Finally, I said that nobody's life is perfect so there is no perfect time for me to do this so I am moving out now...

I once had a roommate who was a Satan worshipper... All of her friends were such losers and druggies (nearly all of them had once been in alternative schools because they got kicked out of their schools)... She would sign her signature in blood on letters to one of her ex-boyfriends (she would use a razor to slit her skin)... I really thought that someday I was going to end up in several mason jars inside my refrigerator...

I have known so many people who have been trapped in relationships or with roommates that they couldn't get out of... I know the exact feeling of the knots in your stomach and the huge emotional roller coaster...

It sucks but it has to be done...

Wolf,

It's in the eyes. If she ever has the "wild" runaway bride eyes, run like he!! the other direction.

Witchypoo,

Just give here the 30 days and be done with it. Just a business deal, treat it that way.

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Okay guys!

I couldn't take it I decided you all were right and I should just get it over with. Especially since last night I got about 20 min. sleep because she woke me up laughing at the television, I couldn't get back to sleep and the workmen were coming to drain my pocketbook today.

So, I did it first thing this morning. Kept it impersonal, told her it wasn't a good fit, and that the lease was up and I'm not renewing.

She said she was suprised, asked why-although I knew she really didn't want me telling her and I refrained to the "good fit" line, and she said she'll start looking for a new place. It seems she's trying to be pleasant, but she is kinda snapping at my workmen-they're touch guys that put her in her place, luckily and I didn't even really have to get involved!

Anyhoo...

I sometimes think I'm gonna where out my welcome cause everytime I turn around, I'm asking for advice, or help, or something, but every single time, you come to the rescue! I just hope you know I really, really appreciate it, and whenever I get back to actual credit repair-I know I'm in great hands!

:IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap:

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Looking for a new roomie! It's actually a 3-bedroom, and I think I found a lady to move in on Valentine'sDay, then the roomie I have now will be gone the 29th, and hopefully, everything will be settles for the first, just in time for my birthday!

How about Topher? :p

I actually just saw Spiderman 3 yesterday. Kinda liked his darkside. :NudgeNudge:

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Good luck wicked.

I'm glad to see that you bit the bullet and told her what was up.

Just to CYA take pictures of everything so if she damages anything you can hold her liable for it.

Do your self a favor and do a long check on the new roomie.

Also put in the lease that you can terminate it at any time for any reason or no reason.

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Hey Wicked, glad you got that alarm system installed earlier :lol:

Just kidding, but I am glad that it is going to work out well for you. Most times being direct is the best way to do things. The initial sting may hurt, but it is easier to get over. If things were as bad for you, she probably wasn't having a great time with it herself. Just needed the push to move on.

Good luck and be careful with the next one.

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Okay guys!

I couldn't take it I decided you all were right and I should just get it over with. Especially since last night I got about 20 min. sleep because she woke me up laughing at the television, I couldn't get back to sleep and the workmen were coming to drain my pocketbook today.

So, I did it first thing this morning. Kept it impersonal, told her it wasn't a good fit, and that the lease was up and I'm not renewing.

She said she was suprised, asked why-although I knew she really didn't want me telling her and I refrained to the "good fit" line, and she said she'll start looking for a new place. It seems she's trying to be pleasant, but she is kinda snapping at my workmen-they're touch guys that put her in her place, luckily and I didn't even really have to get involved!

Anyhoo...

I sometimes think I'm gonna where out my welcome cause everytime I turn around, I'm asking for advice, or help, or something, but every single time, you come to the rescue! I just hope you know I really, really appreciate it, and whenever I get back to actual credit repair-I know I'm in great hands!

:IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap::IThankYou::everybodyclap:

I'm soo glad you kept to your guns and kept to "it wasn't a good fit". At emotional times like this anyone can go wild and if you had said the wrong thing, she could have tried to take you to court. Like I said before, just saying not a good fit, it's vague and she can't stick to anything specific. Good Job and I'm glad you have someone else coming in to replace her so quickly! I guess, my visit will have to be postponed till you get rid of another roomy. ;) JK! lol

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How about Topher? :p

Yes, he could move, in but he would be sharing my room. :bedjump:

And, no my psycho roommate didn't murder me, xThudx I just haven't been on because the contractors started work yesterday :everybodyclap: and I've been cooking them dinner, and getting dirty myself. :twothumbsup: Who wants to come over so I can show off my place? :BigDance:

P.S. Isis-I have a roommate for the third roommate coming in Feb. 14th I think. The current roomie's room will be vacant Mar. 1st. Wanna come out? :MoreBeer:

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  • 3 weeks later...
Yes, he could move, in but he would be sharing my room. :bedjump:

And, no my psycho roommate didn't murder me, xThudx I just haven't been on because the contractors started work yesterday :everybodyclap: and I've been cooking them dinner, and getting dirty myself. :twothumbsup: Who wants to come over so I can show off my place? :BigDance:

P.S. Isis-I have a roommate for the third roommate coming in Feb. 14th I think. The current roomie's room will be vacant Mar. 1st. Wanna come out? :MoreBeer:

Oh hell, I didn't see this till now damnit! I just finalized my schedule for March since I couldn't find anyone to go kicking it for a few days. We also had 2 people ask for a couple of days vacation and then bish slap the boss with a surprise medical leave right after with no shift preparations whatsoever. They didn't even have the guts to tell him. He got to find out with an email from HR saying they would not be in that night and gone for the next 12 weeks. xThudx

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