I think I might be screwed...

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hey everybody Im new here. I have kind of a weird situation I know everybody says that but mine is a bit odd. I live with a guy who is my boyfriend. The house is in my name, the car, the credit cards, the bills EVERYTHING. He owns his own small business here in Michigan and I work parttime (just started working again about 3 weeks ago) at a cupcake shop. I make 9 bucks an hour at maybe 30-35 hours a week. He pays for everything OBVIOUSLY. Things of course arent working out and I can NOT pay for any of this with what I make and they arent handing out jobs here. I want to leave but everything is in my name. I cant afford the 400 dollar a month car payment or the 2100 a month mortgage or the gas or basically any of the loans we took out to buy this house and the furniture. There is no negotiating with my banks to EVER be able to pay that stuff on what I make. Getting a new job isnt an option either seeing as this job took forever to get.

Ok heres where I go all over the map but please try to stay with me. I have many concerns and questions and worries and theories. So I cant pay for the house, do I try to get him to take the house like sign it over to him or do I do a foreclosure and if so should I do the "deed in lieu" of foreclosure?

What do I do about the car? I cant just try to resell a new car Ill barely get anything for it since I owe 24000 and if I have it repossessed they will only get chump change for it and Ill still be stuck with a car I have NO way of affording or no car and still cant afford the left over debt. Even if I do sell it I cant pay the rest owed do the math at what I make!

So I have 2 plans-if he will and if he wont if he will take the house and car and I can put them in his name and he has the debt and furniture and car to pay off then I just leave with my clothes and start again in some crappy apartment...thats what I HOPE for. If he wont take the house or car or the loan debt Im screwed. Im stuck with a house I cannot afford, or a car, or a 10000 loan or an american express bill for like 3000 and all the other stuff along with it.

I keep asking everybody what to do and all my friends and family keep saying is "uhhh I dunno call a lawyer". I tried that but it costs money which I DONT have. I just recently a few days ago opened my first savings account and put in my first check for like 320, so thats all I have. I do have a wedding ring that might be worth a few thousand but I would need that to buy a crappy car so I have no car payment or to be able to get an apartment.

I just read that if he wont take all the debt and I have to file chapter 7 or something they will take any and all money I have so what then do I do?

Cant sell the ring if they are just gonna take all the money I need that money! I have nothing! I owe on every piece of furniture in my house even my tv! I feel screwed and I dont know what to do. no one seems to be able to help me and I dont understand half the stuff said in these forums.

If I can do a foreclosure and I can file chapter 7 then what about my car? How do I get rid of that without owing money that I cant possibly pay?

If I file chapter 7 wont they take my 320 in my savings and I wont be able to sell the only thing I have worth money to be able to start again with because they will want the money?

How do I get someone to help me step by step with no money?

I dont know what Im doing and I feel so lost. My money will be so tight if he WILL take it all that it will be ridiculous and that was me doing the math NOT counting a car payment or the 239 for the hsbc loan or the 186 a month for the american express bill. So basically from what I can tell so far is if he will take the house and car and the 2 loans, I will be able to go on, pay my visa and rent and other living expenses on my own. If he wont Im screwed for one, have to hand over my house, loose my car and still have to somehow pay for the difference, and try to file chapter 7 and have the come take everything so I have no way of starting again and Ill be homeless.

Is this whats gonna happen? I dont think Im late on anything but I know my credit is shot due to paying things late but I think im current on everything right now.

Please someone help me! Me trying to find info for free on the internet has not been very successful so far. Please!!!!!


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I'm a novice, just getting ready to file BK (bankruptcy) chapter 7 myself, but you sounded so desperate I thought I'd reply since I'm here and others who are more knowledgeable may take longer to get to you.

First, if he won't (take over the house and car) you could file BK and not lose the small amount of money/assets (like the ring or a used car) that you own. There are things called "exemptions" for each state. Depending on what state you're in you get to keep a certain amount of cash, an property valued at certain amounts. For example in CT I think you can keep a car valued at around $1500.

Bankruptcy is meant to be a fresh start, and you will not be left homeless and/or penniless. Most BK attorneys will do a first time consultation for free, and then will take payments for their fee. You should contact a couple attorneys and see what they think of your situation before you make any rash decisions.

If he will - take the car and house, please also make SURE you have all the paperwork processed correctly thru an attorney so that you're not stuck with the bill later in the event that he decides he doesn't want to make the payments anymore.

If BK is right for you, you can stop paying on your credit cards AND stop using them, so you can save up some cash to use to move and/or get a lawyer. The BK will hit your credit rating anyway, so the last thing you need to worry about in your situation is late payments and what it will do to your credit score.

Best of luck to you and I hope this helped ease your mind a little. There's a couple other great forums with BK info on them as well - creditboards.com and bkforum.com. The people there are very friendly, helpful and knowledgeable. You CAN take control of this situation and get your life back!!

Good luck!


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Havong him become responsible for the debts is only half the battle. Since all that stuff is in your name, the lein holders will have to agree to take your name off the note.

First, calm down. As the previous poster said, you do have exemptions. For example, prior to filing, you sell property for money to use to buy a car that fits in the exemption schedule of your state. When {if} you actually file, you wait until your bank balance is below what your state exempts.

Here are Mi. exemptions.


Looks like Mi. lets you use Federal exemptions if you like which are more generous.

So, try and relax and keep posting. Set up some consultations with a few bk lawyers and get all of your options explained.

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I haven't had to go through BK but my niece did and she came out just fine. It's not the end of the world, there is hope.

You can call legal aid and see if you can find an attorney who will work with you. I believe every state has a legal aid agency. They operate on a sliding scale that enables you to pay what you can based upon your income, bills, etc.

Good luck!

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Before you do anything more you need to look over your mortgage documents to see if there is a non-judicial foreclosure clause in it. Michigan, unlike most States, allows this. That means the lender does not have to go through a court proceeding to take the house.

Because all the loans are in your name and you are not married, your boyfriend is pretty much out of the picture. His finances mean zippo if you file bankruptcy. I'm guessing his credit report is a disaster if everything was done in your name alone. Otherwise he'd have taken on some of the personal liability too.

Based on your description I don't see any way you will be able to keep the house. With non-judicial foreclosure at the lender's option they can sell it in as little as 60 days after you get a discharge...and sooner than that if they convince the court to release them from the bankruptcy stay (if you have no equity).

The car; maybe you could keep it. But doubtful. You also could not sell it. You can't transfer the title to someone else while the lien on it is still in-tact.

A deed-in-lieu cannot be done if you have a primary and secondary mortgage. Also, Michigan allows creditors to pursue deficiency balances on deed-in-lieu transactions, so you gain nothing and they get the house easier.

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File Ch 7 and use the Federal Exemptions.

Let the house go back to the bank. Let the car go back to the bank. That's the only way you'll get out from under those loans. All the other unsecured debt will be discharged, since you clearly don't make enough and would easily qualify for a Ch 7.

Get out from under it ALL. You'll have some time to find a place to live, start looking NOW - but look for a private rental - if you have to wait to look for a place to live after you've filed BK, then a private rental is the way to go.

If it were me, I'd take all MY stuff and get the heck outta there NOW, while you have a CHOICE to do so. Do you have any friends or family who would put you up for a little while ?

My bet would be he won't take ANY of it, so you'll be stuck with it all.

As for that ring, you could probably exempt it under Federal Exemptions, but I'd do as Bingo suggested, sell it and use the money to buy a used car you CAN afford, that will get you where you need to go for a while. No Trustee is going to give you a hard time over such a move, you NEED a car and you can't afford to keep the one with the loan and you're letting it go back to the bank.

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I just wanted to comment that financial situations are temporary!

You need to just look at it as a list of things to do to get back on track!

Taking the position of being "screwed", is bordering on a learned helpless feeling.

I guarantee you will know a lot more about money, finances, and law when you are all done!

To me, that idea and chance at learning something I may not know is exciting!

So get excited that you made the decision to move in the right direction!

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I guarantee you will know a lot more about money, finances, and law when you are all done!

Oh I agree with that completely. I learned quite a lot myself about some of the money myths since my BK. They were/are painful lessons. There is a good chance I will loose my house and one of my cars due to taking these myths at face value...but it is just STUFF. And stuff can be replaced. I guarantee that I am not going to repeat those mistakes again once I have recovered from this mess.

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