rmuse00

Ok Peeps, Need some advice.

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Just got an e-mail from SIL. She is having a fun "splash" party for her son who is turning 8 on Sat. Mar 8th. Sounds great doesn't it? One Problem...it's my kid's birthday!! :? He's turning 9. :p

I love SIL and her kids love our kids. Her 2 kids and 2 of my kids are really close in age and everytime we have family functions they hang out and usually anxiously anticipate each others arrival at these gatherings.

DH says we should bring a cake for our son. I know what he means by doing that but I feel that would be rude. I don't want to feel like I'm hijacking her party. Would that be rude? I think she forgot, and it really isn't up to her to keep track of the nephews/nieces b-days. I think the kids would have so much fun but I can't dismiss the fact that it is my kid's special day. :( If my kid had a choice I'm sure he would want to go to this party. But DH still would want to be able to acknowledge at the party that it is son's b-day. So, how would you all handle this?

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just ask if it would be OK...say it in such a way that it's not offensive...like something along the lines of "hey, my kid's Bday is this day as well....since they both get along great and everything, would it be possible to have a party to celebrate both birthdays?" You would offer to pay part of the cost for the dual party, of course.

That way the SIL still gets to plan the party, but in sharing the cost, it makes it more likely she'll take the offer, and the kids (after all that's waht it's about0 have a great day, both parties :p

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Take him out after the party for a special dinner or something...tell him you realize he may be too tired from the other party...and plan something for the following weekend...

Or just say he got his invite before I could invite him to yours, and maybe invite him and the other kids for the next weekend...

also 2 words marshmallow guns...too cool and the animals clean up anything that hits the floor.

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Only problem is that she's obviously already planned her party. How can I go and say "forget your party, let's have one for both?". Know what I mean? :)

Simple, plan ANOTHER part for your son on another day. Why have one when you can have 2!

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I would ask your son. Explain to him that they are having the Splash party on his birthday and ask him if he wants to go ahead and have his own party that day and miss out on theirs, or does he want to go to their party and plan his party for the weekend before it or after.

But OTOH, speaking as an aunt, she really should have known it was his birthday!!!:roll:

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That's what DH has a problem with. It's my kids actual b-day on the 8th. His cousin's is on the 7th so we'd have to "technically" celebrate his cousins on our kid's bday and push off his real birth day! :roll:

I know, a sticky situation. Thanks for the feedback! :)++

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Why not say something to him like " I know you want to go to the splash party so we're making yours the next day". Then on the day of his Bday, take him to someplace else special or just check with the SIL to make sure it's ok to have something to acknowledge his at the end. I'm sure she would understand. Even having it just a family thing. I've done this a many times when I had to swap schedules around.

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I guess I really don't want to hurt SIL's feelings. I tend to worry too much for nothing. We'll probably have something for him later that day or the next day. I really think it will be a good time for all at the end. :p

Thanks again! :)++

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Don't you essentially have this conflict every year?

Dude, just remind her it's your son's b-day and let her come up with some ideas. She should feel sufficiently crunchy enough (embarrassed) to offer more than you would ask anyway.

If it's anything like my family, no real prima donnas or tightwads, we love the bigger the better... get together, hell yeah!

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You would think, but normally we'd send gifts, birthday cards, etc.. She just recently started having bday parties and actually, last year she had it a week earlier and it never really came up. Our family has started having more gatherings and since we've lost mom and sister in the past 2 years the rest of us are making more of an effort to get together as often as we can. I'm sure it's probably just me overracting. :lol:

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My fiances sister went through time and again. A cousin would say oh my kids b-day is around that time do you mind if I bring a cake for him also?" Well she would not say no but would tell me how it upset that cousin is intruding.

Not sure how your SIL is but it may upset her if you take a cake or combine party.

Now my son and fiances other nephew are 1 day apart if she schedules on his bday I send a card/gift over and tell her sorry we had for son bday and wont be able to make it. She totally understands

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Thanks Melisa,

I've known SIL since she started dating my brother when they were sixteen. She's 37! :p She's not the type to go crazy but still want to make sure she knows I respect it is the celebration of her kid's b-day.

So, I sent her an e-mail telling her it sounded like such a blast for the kids and "Oh, guess what? T's b-day is the 8th" with a silly icon. Told her I would discuss with the family how that day is going to go and let her know. Ended the e-mail with the usual "XOXO's". We'll see how she responds. :)++

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Maybe it is just me but I would be super annoyed if my SIL invited me to a party on one of my children's birthdays. Especially if her child's birthday wasn't even actually on that day! Not very thoughtful IMHO, but that's beside the point. I would just talk to your son and see what he wants to do. Does he even want a party or just want to hang out or go out to eat? Good luck!

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