melisadawn Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well my kids dad finally got in trouble for CS. He is 21K behind. Payments are only 380$ a month for 2 kids. (I never asked for more since established in 1995 although he tried to get it lowered in 2007. They dropped it cuz he did not hand in any paperwork. I think someone told him it will more likely go up) Well first when he had a warrant he said they told him if I waive CS they will not arrest him. I guess my no answer was not good enough. Anywhoooo 6 months of pretrial later he calls me on his final court date. (Mind you prosecutor already called me) He says his lawyer told him if I waive 60% of CS he will get 2 misdemeaners instead of 2 felonies. He proceeded to tell me he will pay me "extra money" I laughed and told him if he was not worried about paying court order all these yrs what makes him think I believe he will pay me. Then I proceeded to tell him maybe had he helped with school clothes etc... I would consider it but he never worried about that. He said "I can lose my job if I have a felony" I then tell him "Well I almost lost a job for the kids before because of Dr.s and being sick etc.. and I was on a point system. You were not worried about me and whether they had clothes or food on the table. Or me having to call my mom to take kids to get shoes. Cuz you know that I will make sure they have what they need." He tells me I never asked him for help. I admit, No I did not. Because I had to much pride to ask him for anything. He is a holiday dad. Sees them christmas time, b-day, easter. My daughter just got her b-day present from him 8-30 and her b-day was 4-17. I find this funny cuz when he called on waiving CS 8-21 I brought up he never got her anything. Now she has a present that has been "sitting" there. So much I can rant about!!! Thank goodness for my fiance because he has been their dad by choice for 13 yrs now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenous Wolf Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 Thank goodness for my fiance because he has been their dad by choice for 13 yrs now.That is probably the best thing you have ever done! Back in my single days, I have dated so many single moms that had a very romantic view of their deadbeat father of their children. Even though these deadbeats never pinched in any money and really hated to show up for holidays, lots of these women still thought very highly of them. They just refused to let the man who was already in their lives play any kind of father figure because of the fairy tale role that they still imagined for the deadbeats.Your fiance sounds like a good man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melisadawn Posted August 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 I let their dad dig his own grave with the respect my kids have for him. I never said no he can not see them. Took the kids to him when he could not drive and my fiance even told him years ago we will leave the house for him to visit with kids if he has "no where to go" with them. I have no dream world of their father. His name leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I do wish he did better. He has a new kid now born this year. Hopefully that kid does not go through the same stuff. Fiance is great. The kids learned to go to him cuz mom might say no. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustaTexan Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 Good job not letting him off the hook! I would not have either! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenous Wolf Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 I let their dad dig his own grave with the respect my kids have for him.And that is a great way to approach it. Although it sucks for a man to turn into a deadbeat, some women go out of their way to cover it up. It's great that you let the facts speak for themselves... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AboveAverage Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 Sad thing about this and many other stories like this, there are never any winners. The only ones who really suffers are the kids.It is my hope that when they grow up, aside from them growing up happy and healthy, is that they never have to go through the pain of the child support system...on either end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverserguru Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 I have a BIL that hasn't paid a dime for his first child. The kid has to be at least 16 yrs old by now. I was really torn a couple years ago when I smoked an AAC lawsuit against him deciding whether or not to help him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasen Posted September 3, 2008 Report Share Posted September 3, 2008 Thank goodness for my fiance because he has been their dad by choice for 13 yrs now.That's us too. I met my wife during her divorce from Mr Jackass. The worst part is they adopted their children... that takes some dedication and effort to do. And yet he never paid a dime to help support them during or after the divorce. (oh wait, there was the one time when he was in court and the judge forced him to write a check right then--or go to jail)To understand just how bizarre this divorce was: the man filed motions that requested that she not be allowed to leave the house except for work, that she could not have friends over, that she could not force him to leave the house, that she would give him spending money, and that he would take custody of the children. He then alleged that she was a goth-vampire dug addict. The incredulous look on the judge's face was priceless. The look on his face when she called for a mental inquest to make sure he was sane was even better.We ended up marrying a year later, and this guy came to us and basically begged to sign away his parental rights and obligations so that I could adopt the kids and he could avoid jail for not paying his child support.We took that deal because it meant we would never have to deal with him again--and also because I already knew I was going to be their dad anyway. It still took a little bit of urging to get the judge to allow it, but in the end she knew he was never going to pay child support, and it would be better for the kids if he just left their lives.Four years later, and he has never once even called to check on how the kids were doing. The kids were 2 and 3 at the time, 7 and 8 now... they can barely even remember the guy, luckily, they only know me as dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debtorbasherFiveStars Posted September 5, 2008 Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 Hello everyone,I just joined up here and trying to get over the fear of posting . But as my spouse says, dont' rush trying to be mssocialbutterfly in the first weekl. ]anyways only six more years to go and we are out of chapter seven status. take caret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debtorbasherFiveStars Posted September 5, 2008 Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 Hi Melissa, Getting child support from my ex was like pulling teeth. Evenually we worked it all out . And though we'll never be those clueless romAntic souls back in the college dAY, but we are on civil terms. take careT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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