shadokeeper 238 Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 So my partners Mother dies after she had a lung transplant last July she hung in there for almost a year but finally succumbed to exhaustion of fighting off infection after infection, and her kidneys failing very sad so the company I work for offers Same Sex benefits such as Health, Dental and Vision. But do not off same sex benefits for Bereavement leave, I called and spoke to my Manager to inform her that she passed away she told me to take the 24 hours of bereavement we believed I would qualify for. So I did so well today when I got back in my office I was upset to find out that I do not qualify for this benefit because he and I are not “Married” so technically she is not my Mother-in-law. So I am out 3 days of work, I am just so disappointed to find out that a Hospital of this magnitude that is so progressive in so many areas would do this to me. I love my job and I enjoy working for this Hospital but now I have a nasty taste in my mouth and a little resentment. The whole same sex thing never has affected me in a negative way. My SO and I have been together for going on 7 years we just bought a home together. We do every thing other people do but because we happen to be same sex… What was I supposed to say to him yeah sorry your mom died but I have to go to work… Sorry but I was hoping for some words of encouragement from all of you… Or I have started a huge debate on the matter, if I did I apologize ahead of time… Thanks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BrokeBob 161 Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother-in-law. It really isn't fair that you cannot use bereavement leave for your MIL's death, while I could do so if (heaven forbid) my MIL were to die. This reminds me of something that really opened up my mother's eyes. When my father was dying in the local county hospital, the partner of a lesbian friend of my mother was dying in the same hospital. Although my mother always thought of herself as liberal and open minded, that was the first time she really understood just how unfair the situation was. That hospital was very kind to my mother's lesbian friend, but the legal situation just wasn't the same. That was wrong. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
almost_there 16 Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother-in-law. I pray that you and your partner will find comfort and I also pray that our country will have equal rights for all very soon - we're getting there, I hope you can take heart in that. Although it is sad that it seems to be taking so long. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonwife 13 Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 ugh. I'm so sorry. That is completely unfair and talk about adding insult to injury. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whocares 1,184 Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Sorry to hear of you MIL...BTW are you married? if so maybe you need to talk to HR about including that as a benefit for couples like yourself.If your not married then that may be the reason....Cheer up honey, at least you have a job and a possible chance to change the benefits for others in your situation... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amerikaner83 1,026 Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 Shado - I'm so sorry to hear about this - thoughts/prayers are with the both of you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JustaTexan 951 Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 Hey keep your head up, it's their problem not yours. I'm so sorry for you and your partner's loss. <hugs> Quote Link to post Share on other sites
admin 896 Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 I'm so sorry for you and your SO's loss. Hopefully one day companies will see the light. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SoFaithful 10 Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Wow! Definitely putting you two and your families on the prayer list. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shadokeeper 238 Posted June 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Thank you all for your kind words Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J_Snow 477 Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 I too am sorry for your loss. The times-they are a changing... just not as quickly as we would like. But they are changing and there is hope that someday the hate and inequality against the GLBT community will go away as well.Keep fighting the good fight! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
zfire 121 Posted June 11, 2009 Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 I'm sorry too. Both for your loss, and the rotten treatment.That was just totally wrong.You had every right to have the time, just as anyone elsewould have were theyin a "conventional" relationship...as if there even is such a thing anymore. Everyone should enjoy the same rights and freedoms. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
