credit card abuse by spouse

[choopes]

I've had it with my wife’s irresponsible use of credit cards. She charges things and gives no thought to how she'll pay for them. We have gone through several cycles of her racking up dept she cannot pay. I agree to pay it if she destroys the card. Card destroyed. account deactivated. Then later, she reapplies for another card at the same company, or a new one. Cycle starts over again. I earn 96% of the income. Besides a joint mortgage, we have no dept. We live pretty poor. Struggling from paycheck to paycheck. Almost no savings. No in discretionary spending. Although things used to be better.

I always pay my credit card bills when they come in. Never allowing it to go into interest payments. So my credit is really good. But I would be willing to trade that for credit denied when requested, due to my wife's irresponsibility. Is there some way to separate our credit? I'm sure if I don't step in and cover her dept, it will be a matter of time before she ruins credit.

The results I am looking for are similar to the credit someone would get if they had gone thru a bankrupts. Only I don't want or need to go to bankrupts, just some way to get some relief from the wife’s thoughtless credit card spending.

I’ve tried to talk to her. It does no good. I don’t want a divorce, just financial fidelity.

Forgive me if I put this in the wrong category. I'm not sure where to put this.

Thank you for your time and help.

[2ndTimeAround]

Wow - a very good detailed summation....

I guess your wife knows your financial information to apply for a new card after a credit card is canceled. Without your information, she will not be aple to open up a new account...

Actually - what I would do is copy and paste what you said, print it out and put it in a card with a dozen roses saying I love you (maybe she might get the idea).

My $00.02

Edited July 27, 2010 by 2ndTimeAround

[choopes]

Forget the roses!

I think it's like an gambleing addiction. Spending is a high for some people.

I suspect it's my income, not her's that gets the approval. I thought about contacting the agency to inform them of this. But you really got my thinking 2nd time. Is there anyway to get the credit agencies to assist not knowing? Could i report a possable Identity theft, or something along those lines to shut down my credit reports?

[tx3amigos]

Maybe you could sign up for a credit monitoring system. They let you know when someone has pulled your credit (like everytime she applies for a C card). Then you will know who to contact and can cancel the CC she has just applied for....

[Denita]

Lets come at it from a different view point BTW, I am not defending your wife at all, just offering a different opinion.

Is your wife working outside the home? Does she have any of her own income? What is causing her to run out and charge things? Do you work on a household budget together? Do you allow her enough funds to run the household or is she sublimating the household budget with the credit card spending?

It sounds like she has no idea of the actual household finances. Check out DaveRamsey.com to get an idea of why husbands and wifes need to work together on their financial future, which means working on the household budget together.

You might want to work with her to substitute buiding up your asset side of the financial equation rather than the debt side. Rechannel the purchases toward building your family's assets. For example, she can learn about investing and 'spend' money on stocks/bonds/retirement plans etc rather than spending anything on cc's.

It sounds like she has no clue as to your goals and your financial capacity. If she is not working, then she needs to start working to understand your frustration of working all the time to have the money go to creditors.

Edited August 1, 2010 by Denita
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[scorch]

I always pay my credit card bills when they come in. Never allowing it to go into interest payments. So my credit is really good. But I would be willing to trade that for credit denied when requested, due to my wife's irresponsibility. Is there some way to separate our credit? I'm sure if I don't step in and cover her dept, it will be a matter of time before she ruins credit.

You are on the right track with this paragraph.

My girlfriend got into a car accident recently and I'd be DAMNED if I covered any of the expense!

But I WILL provide psychological support.

[buckeyechick1219]

I don't know if she's using your credit information to apply for these accounts, but if so, you could always put a fraud alert on your credit report? I put one on mine, for a different reason, but it means that everytime I apply for credit, or my husband applies for credit and provides my information, they call me to verify that I'm aware somebody has applied for credit in my name. We went shopping for a car a few years ago and got something like 20 calls from car loan companies verifying my information so they could try to provide us a loan.