What makes a man a man?

[scorch]

Right so this is something I've kind of been studying a lot recently and I'm pretty sure a lot of you may be able to provide some good ideas. I'm not necessarily asking this to seek enlightenment, but to start a conversation and I thought it would be interesting as I've not seen much discussion about relationships on this board.

I've heard that a lot of women now are making more money than their husbands due to the economy, but I still have a job and not really have seen for myself how bad the economy may still be. Does that mean she "wears the pants" in the family? Probably not.

Right now I'm 24, just bought a house, not married, no kids and have a drive to grow rich. My goals of fixing my credit and buying a house have been accomplished, but that's not enough.

What is more to life than just money?

[jq26]

Right now I'm 24, just bought a house, not married, no kids and have a drive to grow rich. My goals of fixing my credit and buying a house have been accomplished, but that's not enough.

What is more to life than just money?

well, you will find out soon enough. You were me until a few short years ago. Then I got married, then I had a son, then a daughter. Tangible things don't compare.

With that said, having your finances together sets you up to take care of your family so it is important. You are ahead of the game. If you can stash cash away, buy a rental property, or start putting funds into savings accounts now you'll be way ahead of the game. Consider this- kids are EXPENSIVE. My wife and I have $9200/month in bills to keep our household of four going. That does not cover food or diapers or even putting $1 into savings. And both of our cars are paid for and we don't have any credit card balances, Daycare alone is $2600/month for two kids. Trips to Costco are usually at least $400. And even with good medical insurance, I'm $4000 out of pocket in 2010 and it is only August...

My point is this. Financial security is not the end all be all, but it helps if and when you have a family in the future. And my definition of being a man is to provide for my family. So take advantage now. You are young and you sound like you've got it together at 24. A little sacrifice now will set you up for success in the future. Being rich is a good goal (statistically unlikely for almost all) but I think it starts with foundational habits that you start in your 20s so that you can provide for your family and not have to work 23 hours per day to make ends meat.

[2ndTimeAround]

... You are young and you sound like you've got it together at 24. A little sacrifice now will set you up for success in the future. Being rich is a good goal (statistically unlikely for almost all) but I think it starts with foundational habits that you start in your 20s so that you can provide for your family and not have to work 23 hours per day to make ends meat.

Very good advise!!!

I'm 25 years ahead of you, in my late 30's to mid 40's, I supported my wife to get her Master Degree +90. So that she is at the top of her pay grade.

Now it's my turn to to go back to school. I am finishing school where I left off, only working 25 hours per week.

If your goal is to be rich, making a lot money can bring different types of problems. You need to focus on being financially secure and investing in your family.

:)

[genniechan]

having too many girls can't make you a man, it will make you look stupid.

what makes you a man is by being faithful with your partner, it makes you a man if you are love your family, if you love being with them, if you respect girls.

what makes you a man is not about having a good face etc

it makes you a man for being good

[donqII]

Good, honest , hard work no matter what that field would be, balanced

with love of God and love of country.

A wise woman once said that the art of being a woman is to bring out the best in a man.

If you find your self a woman like this you will be more of a man then the next ten walking down the street.

But that does not mean she is just a little home maker, or that you necessarily are making more then she is.

It means you will be working toward the same goals and she will

supprt you every step of the way.

Used to be an old adage that behind every successful man there was a woman.

This is very true. Even today.

Just keep these things in mind as you go through your life and pick your mate.

And you will do well.

[jq26]

...I supported my wife to get her Master Degree +90. So that she is at the top of her pay grade.

Sounds like you are married to a teacher. So am I. My wife wrapped up her Master's plus 60 last year at age 32. Nothing like spending summers and every weekend in the classroom. But it was worth it. She is a better teacher and she is paid significantly more because of it.

[scorch]

I can't say that I agree with the having too many girls can't comment. I believe that there are ways about obtaining multiple long term relationships to where everyone involved is OK with that.

[jq26]

I can't say that I agree with the having too many girls can't comment. I believe that there are ways about obtaining multiple long term relationships to where everyone involved is OK with that.

Lol. While it sounds intriguing, I know two couples who had "open relationships". Both ended badly. The jealousy and sneaky "side" relationships were too much to handle. Maybe it works for some, but I think most couldn't handle it.

[daybyday]

I don't think this is a question they ask on match.com

[fett]

A man can admit that his life belongs to a higher power...my wife wishes it was her that I was referencing

[Seadragon]

in the Mideast being a man means being faithful to god above all else. In africa a man can have as many wives as he has cattle. In America we have conflicting standards.

Here we are told be faithful by powerful people who we try to emulate. Get the wife, house, kids, car combo meal that we are told. find out incompatibilty issues and become unhappy sticking it out for the kids sake. Then we learn after many unhappy years that the powerful people who sold us the unhappy meal(not a reference to any actual product or an attempt at trademark dilution) cheat on their wives for the reason of their own happiness.

The real measure of a man is not chasing the dreams of another but being happy with our own selves. The insecure grasping at relationships to bolster what is undeniably weaknesses in our own character and demeanor. It is akin to the practice of putting wood paneling in a trailer to make it seem more than it is and to cover the flaws in the overall nature of the accomadations.

the real man seeks not trifling baubles but is secure in their own self image.

The problems of america are not the problems of the Serengeti. So be happy with yourself and let all the little things go.

Hope this makes sense.

[ml2030]

A man can admit that his life belongs to a higher power...my wife wishes it was her that I was referencing

^ This - LOL

[InProPer]

A man can admit that his life belongs to a higher power...my wife wishes it was her that I was referencing

and in a weird sort of way, she's right

[antiquedave]

Often a man's career is their identity and it defines who they are, and their value, for some its what they own or accumulate, I think that allowing things to define you can be dangerous.

What makes a Man a Man?

well.................

you show up

you honor and cherish your spouse and your vows are important

you have faith in something greater than yourself

you get involved in the lives of your kids from day 1

you get involved in the issues of the times you live in

you give something of yourself back

I've been married for 31 years, my wife loves me, my kids talk to me all the time because they want to, my dog listens to me, (most of the time) I'm known (favorably) in my community, I drive a beat up 17 year old truck, have 12.00 in my checking account and yet most days I feel pretty rich.

To take a line from The WHO, Who are YOU?