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Laughing so hard I just wet my pants!


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OK, so I know many of you have dealt with Midland...I for some reason haven't been so lucky. For giggles, I went to their page tonight, and found out that they have established the industries first 'consumers bill of rights.' And wow did I get a laugh!

It sounded pretty official and wonderful, so if you've never heard of it, or never read it, here are some of the finer points:

We will cease collection activities when we receive documentation indicating that the consumer’s only source of income is from exempt sources, such as Social Security or Supplemental Security Income benefits, and that the consumer has access to no other assets.

We will cease collection activities when a consumer’s account is proven to be the result of identity theft, and will instruct credit reporting agencies to delete any references we have reported for the account from the consumer’s credit reports.

We will suspend collection activities when a consumer demonstrates that he or she is experiencing significant financial hardship due to medical issues.

We will suspend collection activities when a consumer is a direct victim of a natural or other catastrophic disaster.

We will not resell accounts to third parties in the ordinary course of our business. In the future, if we have an occasional instance when we do resell accounts, we will only do so when we can provide the purchaser with documentation evidencing the amount owed on the account and clear title of ownership.

We will engage law firms that litigate in good faith and treat consumers with respect.

Prior to signing affidavits, our authorized representatives will read, understand, and fully verify document contents as appropriate to ensure accuracy. All notarized documents will be signed in the presence of a certified notary who is acknowledging the signature

Prior to pursuing litigation, our attorneys and law firms will confirm that the applicable statute of limitations on the debt has not expired.

We will not pursue litigation or otherwise collect on accounts where we are not the rightful owner, and we will require our attorneys and law firms to provide proof of such ownership when requested by a court.

We will instruct our law firms to engage process servers who are reputable, licensed, in good standing with applicable regulatory agencies and trade associations, and who both conform to all legal requirements concerning the service of process, and employ systematic checks to validate effective service (e.g., the appropriate use of technology, digital pictures, compliance audits, etc.).

Unless required by contract or law, we will not unilaterally initiate an arbitration hearing on a consumer’s account. (wonder why???)

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Sounds similar to the guy that beats his chest and yells into the camera when the cops show up to a domestic dispute, "I pay my child support, I pay my child support"

Like doing the right thing is something to brag about.

However, I do love a few.

"We will cease collection activities when we receive documentation indicating that the consumer’s only source of income is from exempt sources, such as Social Security or Supplemental Security Income benefits, and that the consumer has access to no other assets."

How nice, and I'm sure the fact the person is judgment proof and any money spent collecting or suing would never be recovered, and would be chasing bad money with good?

"We will suspend collection activities when a consumer demonstrates that he or she is experiencing significant financial hardship due to medical issues."

Something tells me Midland's definition of financial hardship is not going to be the same as most think of when you think of financial hardship.

Now I really like this one !!

"We will cease collection activities when a consumer’s account is proven to be the result of identity theft, and will instruct credit reporting agencies to delete any references we have reported for the account from the consumer’s credit reports."

So your bragging you will follow the law? Nice, thanks. Only scum like Midland would brag they would comply with the FCRA and not go after victims of ID theft. Let me guess, you also won't rob liquor stores and traffic cocaine? and you need applause for that also. Here your applause. :thefinger:

"We will suspend collection activities when a consumer is a direct victim of a natural or other catastrophic disaster."

Thanks !! I worked insurance claims in Arkansas for ten years and many catastrophic disasters delivered by a tornado.

Trust me a town wiped out by a tornado is not thinking about paying you for the junk debt you have. And you could not get a process server to the houses anyway due to the total destruction and all the national guard presence to deal with looters. However, thanks for agreeing to to suspend (not stop, suspend) activity during a catastrophic disaster, awful nice of you.

"We will not resell accounts to third parties in the ordinary course of our business. In the future, if we have an occasional instance when we do resell accounts, we will only do so when we can provide the purchaser with documentation evidencing the amount owed on the account and clear title of ownership."

Great, we won't do it, but if we do it, we will only do it the right way and ethical.

Yeah, and in high school my girlfriend's dad wanted to know if I was having sex with his daughter. I said no, he asked me why I had a condom in my wallet. Uh, well, sir, we don't have sex, but if we do on the occasional time, I be a responsible fornicator.

"We will engage law firms that litigate in good faith and treat consumers with respect."

Okay, so if the law firm violates my rights, then you won't have any issues if I sue you for vicarious liability?

"Prior to signing affidavits, our authorized representatives will read, understand, and fully verify document contents as appropriate to ensure accuracy. All notarized documents will be signed in the presence of a certified notary who is acknowledging the signature."

What the hell? Your bragging because your authorized representatives will read and understand the document before signing it. And your notarized documents will be signed in front of a notary.

Well thank you very much. Silly me, I always thought having something notarized meant you signed the document in front of a notary. I thought that is where you got the term "A notarized document" So your bragging that you won't commit perjury. Thanks again !!

"Prior to pursuing litigation, our attorneys and law firms will confirm that the applicable statute of limitations on the debt has not expired."

Well thanks again. So you will follow the FDCPA since it's an FDCPA violation to sue on an account past the statute of limitations.

"We will not pursue litigation or otherwise collect on accounts where we are not the rightful owner."

Why in the name of all that is holy are you bragging about this. You've got to be freaking kidding me. It's part of your consumers bill of rights that you won't sue somebody if you don't own the debt.

"we will require our attorneys and law firms to provide proof of such ownership when requested by a court."

Oh now that is awful nice. So let me get this straight. A judge orders you to show proof of ownership, so you are going to instruct your attorneys to obey the courts order? And that is something you are bragging about.

What's next, "We will always pull over when speeding once we see State Trooper blue lights behind us ordering to pull over"

What in the world kind of horrible, lawbreaking and debacle of an operation does one have to be running when these are the things you brag about. Not just brag about, but given a special name to them, "consumers bill of rights"

This has to be the most absolute asinine load of garbage I've ever seen in my entire life.

Hey Midland, here is my personal bill of rights. "I will obey the law" the end.

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And looking at their website, under forms, if you hire an attorney, according to them, you must fill out an authorization for them to speak to your lawyer, because they value your privacy. No, I would tell them I hired a lawyer, call them, you do record these conversations for 'QA' purposes, right?. After that I'd start racking up dead presidents.

And with regard to them swearing on the bible, it's somewhere under this section...When interacting with consumers, our employees will engage in dialogue that is respectful, honorable and constructive.

This is a great one liner as well--We operate in compliance with the laws that regulate our industry, and we hope to play an important and productive role in people’s lives.<-- WTF does that mean?

They are even brazen enough to post some 'testimonials.' this keeps getting better.

I like you guys, you are very professional, your representative is never pushy… I wish all my debts were handled by MCM, or;

“[simon] heard my situation and made me feel special. He gives multiple solutions to me according to my situation and without his effort and help I wouldn’t have resolved this bill.” What came next, the reach around?

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Gwheelock said...

And looking at their website, under forms, if you hire an attorney, according to them, you must fill out an authorization for them to speak to your lawyer, because they value your privacy. No, I would tell them I hired a lawyer, call them, you do record these conversations for 'QA' purposes, right?. After that I'd start racking up dead presidents.

HAHAHA:ROFLMAO2:

Sounds like a page from Citibanks rulebook!!

Customer care is of our utmost concern (according to their web page.

THEN........bail out of 2008

The Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission has published a letter sent to Citi CEO Vikram Pandit in February 2008 (he was appointed just a few weeks before) by the US Comptroller of the Currency, which followed a review of the company following the losses it made in the third and fourth quarter 2007.

"Mr. Pandit:

The purpose of this letter is to summarize the results of reviews we conducted in light of the substantial financial losses realized in the third and fourth quarter of 2007. We conducted these reviews in the context of our supervision of Citibank, N.A. and the corporation's other national bank subsidiaries. The examinations were led by National Bank Examiners Alfred Crumlish and Ronald Frake........

CONCLUSIONS

• The Board and senior management have not ensured an effective and independent risk management process is in place. Risk management had insufficient authority or failed to exercise its authority to constrain business activities.

• The Board and ARMC were not provided meaningful or systematic information on material risk and compliance with limits, controls, or concentrations. The Citibank, N.A . Board had no effective oversight role specific to the risk profile of the bank.

• It appears management was more focused on short-term performance and profitability along with achieving top industry rankings across many major products rather than on risk or potential loss. Risk was insufficiently evaluated.

• Over-reliance was placed on credit rating agency ratings without considering the appropriateness of these ratings to specific products or the true risk of the underlying collateral.

• The present valuation methodology for CDOs is within the range of current market practice, but needs to also factor in the results of the collateral based approach. Additionally, weaknesses were noted with model documentation, validation, and control group oversight.

NOW.......April 14, 2012

OCC Issues Cease and Desist Order Against Citibank, N.A.

WASHINGTON — The Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) today issued a cease and desist order against Citibank, N.A., Sioux Falls, South Dakota, for violating the Bank Secrecy Act (BSA) and its underlying regulations.

The order requires the bank to take comprehensive corrective actions to improve its BSA compliance program.

The OCC found that the bank’s BSA compliance program had deficiencies with respect to internal controls, customer due diligence, the independent BSA and anti-money laundering audit function, monitoring of its remote deposit capture and international cash letter instrument processing in connection with foreign correspondent banking, and suspicious activity reporting related to that monitoring. These findings resulted in violations by the bank of statutory and regulatory requirements to maintain an adequate BSA compliance program, file suspicious activity reports, and conduct appropriate due diligence on foreign correspondent accounts.

Citibanks reply.....

The bank has begun corrective action, and has committed to taking all necessary and appropriate steps to remedy the deficiencies identified by the OCC and to enhance the bank’s BSA compliance program.

Edited by My~Cuz~n~Vinny~
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And looking at their website, under forms, if you hire an attorney, according to them, you must fill out an authorization for them to speak to your lawyer, because they value your privacy. No, I would tell them I hired a lawyer, call them, you do record these conversations for 'QA' purposes, right?. After that I'd start racking up dead presidents.

And with regard to them swearing on the bible, it's somewhere under this section...When interacting with consumers, our employees will engage in dialogue that is respectful, honorable and constructive.

This is a great one liner as well--We operate in compliance with the laws that regulate our industry, and we hope to play an important and productive role in people’s lives.<-- WTF does that mean?

They are even brazen enough to post some 'testimonials.' this keeps getting better.

I like you guys, you are very professional, your representative is never pushy… I wish all my debts were handled by MCM, or;

“[simon] heard my situation and made me feel special. He gives multiple solutions to me according to my situation and without his effort and help I wouldn’t have resolved this bill.” What came next, the reach around?

LOL, then I guess they won't be communicating with people who are represented.

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