bmc100 Posted January 15, 2018 Report Share Posted January 15, 2018 Most of who read this have likely read my posts and threads. What most of everyone who I have connected with through the forum does not know is that I almost filed bankruptcy in 2009/2010. This is a word of warning first for anyone who is married, engaged or getting serious with someone. Never get serious or marry someone male or female is irresponsible with money and credit and/or someone who is looking at you as a meal ticket. I made that mistake, it cost me a job that paid me very well and that person put me in serious debt. Now, I went through a 13 month divorce where she did everything to force me to spend money. At one point I had $52k in credit card debt back in 2007/08/09. I had to fight the vast majority of the 2 credit cards in court. I won against JP Morgan and I ended up negotiating a good deal with BOA for $.35 on the dollar. My wife was paying the bills, never wanted to discuss how money was being spent. My home went into foreclosure. I fought Wells Fargo every way I could for 2 years and in court and luckily in 2012 they finally agreed to a modification agreement that I had to fight for it to become a permanent modification, but it happened. I had a car repossessed. This is coming from someone who never missed a payment or put himself in debt before. I paid my way in full through college. I had multiple collections on my credit report. My score was 570. I always maintained a score about 750. I had a Verizon account as a tradeline and a cable account as a collection. Here is what I did once the credit card debt was paid off. I contacted Chase to have them remove the tradeline from my credit report. I waited 4 years for the BOA account to drop off. I bought a car for $3k and drove it for 7 years. The hardest account to get it removed was Verizon. I got the collection agency to remove the tradeline, but Verizon had their own and they would not remove it. I waited 6 years for it to come off. I had to wait for the repo tradeline to drop off, which did last year. Honda was not willing to work with me. I targeted one by one the collection accounts using an attorney to sue these companies and get them off my report. I had opened 2 credit cards with Capital One, one was a credit recovery account, non-secured. I kept that thing paid for 2 years, then Cap One approved me for a card with a higher limit. I had to buy some new furniture, so the bank they used approved my credit line for $8k in May 2017. I paid that off in December. With the divorce, it forced me to take on debt. I had in total $9k in debt from the divorce through the beg of June last year. I have paid off $8k of that debt in 6 months and created more tradelines. As I paid each one off, my credit score kept increasing. In December I paid off in full 2 accounts and had significantly paid down 2 other accounts. My Utilization dropped to below 10% and my credit score jumped 70-80 points to 750. This month Cap One increased my limit on my main account and my score increased again. Before Christmas, I went out and purchased a new car, not used. Once I pay off that last card in the near future, my score should increase slightly. The sad part is my credit score probably would of recovered faster if I did file bankruptcy. It took me literally 7 years and once I the divorce was finished I focused on getting everything paid off. I took my experiences to help others on here going through the same issues as I did. I spent a lot of money paying for my stupidity and to allow another person to use me. I hope many of you who are in this position today do not give up. Please do not allow someone else to use you or take advantage of you. If they are not willing to share information with you about themselves, say good bye to them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brotherskeeper Posted January 16, 2018 Report Share Posted January 16, 2018 @bmc100 I was aware from some of your past comments that you'd been going through some personal difficulties, but I had no idea how much you were dealing with. It's remarkable--and laudable--that you continued to ably guide so many here on CIC while going through your own hell. I'm so happy to learn you've pulled yourself up and out of debt, and gained control over your life. “Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.” ― Brandon Mull Thank you for sharing with us what you've learned along the way. You've helped countless people here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goody_Ouchless Posted January 16, 2018 Report Share Posted January 16, 2018 You are not alone. I'm here for same reason - wife ran our finances and I was too naive to realize that our horse property and new luxury cars weren't sustainable on my income. I made the mistake, when we got married, of saying "my only condition is that I don't want to have to worry about money." Somehow that got twisted into "I'll spend it all, and you don't have to worry." We lost our house and eventually got sued for almost 40K in various CC debts. We have recovered, but the curse of a community property state is that my wife is now getting credit limits totally out of line with her income. "Divorce" often has such a nice ring, but, as George Costanza said "I would rather be miserable for the rest of my life, than go through that scene." With no savings or retirement, I can take some small comfort in the fact that someday she will be right next to me, living under a bridge! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fisthardcheese Posted January 16, 2018 Report Share Posted January 16, 2018 If anyone is in a similar situation today, I would recommend using arbitration offensively. Especially for things like Verizon (any Cable, Phone, etc). Verizon would have settled that account for next to nothing and removed the tradeline as soon as arbitration was filed against them. I would use it on car loan defaults too. Basically anything except the major banks (but non-major banks like Synchrony, Webbank, etc I would - and have). These are the types of situations I, personally, have used offensive arbitration on in order to make manageable settlements (or even $0 settlements when they have violated TCPA or FCRA laws) and to remove the bads from my reports. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmc100 Posted January 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2018 On 1/15/2018 at 7:29 PM, Brotherskeeper said: @bmc100 I was aware from some of your past comments that you'd been going through some personal difficulties, but I had no idea how much you were dealing with. It's remarkable--and laudable--that you continued to ably guide so many here on CIC while going through your own hell. I'm so happy to learn you've pulled yourself up and out of debt, and gained control over your life. “Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.” ― Brandon Mull Thank you for sharing with us what you've learned along the way. You've helped countless people here. The good part is I am no longer in hell. Things are quickly getting back to what they were 10 years ago before I married. Other than $1k in credit card debt, everything else is paid off. The mortgage balance is back to what the original balance was 8 years ago. I have peace and quiet when I come home. Capital one saved me and allowed me to build credit. It started with a $350 line, now I have a $15k line. I am no fan of keeping it, if I can find a better card. I was pleased when I went to a car dealership and was able to qualify for Tier 1 credit. It was an expensive learning experience to say the least. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BackFromTheDebt Posted January 30, 2018 Report Share Posted January 30, 2018 Interesting story. I let my wife handle the family finances. It took her a while to figure out how not to spend us into bankruptcy. We still owe more on the house than we did when we bought it, from a couple of refis. But, all our credit card debt is gone. She learned to curb her spending at least for a while. The fact that I took over the debt collections, and managed through various techniques to wipe out over $100k in unsecured debt, wound up greatly strengthening our marriage. Some people can change, others cannot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brotherskeeper Posted January 30, 2018 Report Share Posted January 30, 2018 1 hour ago, BackFromTheDebt said: Some people can change, others cannot. Some people suffer due to financial illiteracy and innumeracy; many can learn when motivated. Congratulations! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmc100 Posted February 2, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2018 The biggest lesson that I learned and I should of stuck to my guns is always maintain control of the household money, if you are the responsible one. That does not mean not sharing with your spouse. Rather, have control over the household bills, managing debt and budgeting. Both people sit down every month to discuss spending, savings and investment. Never let the other spouse try to cut you out and get in the position I was in. If they are over-spending and wont cut back, dont be afraid to severely limit access to money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brotherskeeper Posted February 2, 2018 Report Share Posted February 2, 2018 13 hours ago, bmc100 said: Both people sit down every month to discuss spending, savings and investment. Excellent advice. I would add: do this before marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goody_Ouchless Posted February 2, 2018 Report Share Posted February 2, 2018 20 hours ago, bmc100 said: If they are over-spending and wont cut back, dont be afraid to severely limit access to money. That's the hardest part. We just had an issue where payroll was delayed due to do an issue with accounting system. I think seeing six dollars to our name when she expected my paycheck was a bit of an eyeopener. She thinks I kid when I explain how close we are to living in our cars. A big problem was that I took all of the stress and initiative in dealing with our lawsuits. I still suspect she thinks "well, that was easy!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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